For those of you fortunate enough to have Love in your life...don't take it for granted. Love with all you have in you...like each day is the last. Always leave your partner with loving words and a kiss...and greet each other the same way. Cuddle as you fall to sleep...even if you stray in the night. Set your alarm 5 minutes early so that you can cozy up before starting your day. Sit on the same side of the booth in restaurants. Hide love notes for the other to find. Smile at each other. Hold Hands. Hug. Kiss. Touch...even if it's just hands passing in the hall or your foot to his foot in the middle of the night as you reposition in your sleep. It's the little things that mean the most. Whisper goodnight, sweet dreams and kiss him even if he's already sleeping. For those of you fortunate enough to have Love in your life...don't take it for granted. ~Angela Pearl
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14 May 2010

angela update...

hello my darlings.
i know it has been a while since my last update. there has just been sooo much going on, and without home interwebbies, full updates have been a bother to accomplish. however, i would like to say thanks to all of you that follow my facebook (http://tinyurl.com/angela-fb) and twitter (http://twitter.com/imaginebttrfly) for my mini-updates. especially thanks for all of your care, concern, and support! i love you all so very much!

i'm not sure how far back my last update was.

many of you know that i have been on medical leave for a year and the past 7 months of it has been UNpaid. blah blah blah. you know all that. well, as of sunday april 25th i was "separated" from the company i worked for (for 7 years!). this does not make me happy. i really feel like they kept wasting my time with paperwork and jumping through hoops until my medical leave time ran out. anywhom. so, i am now unemployed. sort of. my "employer" still has not updated my (un)employed status. therefore i am not able to take money out of my stocks (which i desperately need) and i am not eligible to file for unemployment. if they do not list me as inactive soon, then my grace period to file for unemployment will expire and i wont get any assistance. this is really pissing me off. while i have never been on unemployment and i never want to be, right now i dont have a choice, and they are screwing me over. again.

thursday may 6th was the day my house foreclosure started. ugh. i am not at all happy about this. i realize that i have done everything i could/can to save it, but i am still upset about this. i am $4,100 behind in house payments. i have the money in my stocks, but like i said, i cant get access to them right now. so i went to the foreclosure auction. no one showed up to buy it. i didnt figure anyone would. i still owe $73,000 on the house. most people buy the $10,000 houses and fix em up and sell em. that is not the case with mine. so... i am told the house will go back to the bank and that i will have 6 months to live there, payment free, before they can legally kick me out. while i dont want to be here until november, i am glad to know i have the time if i need it. i asked the lady at the courthouse about saving the house. i asked if i come up with the $4100 who do i call to pay it and keep the house? she said under NO circumstance should i give them ANY money. she said that to save the house at this point i would need the full $73,000!!! what the huh?! she said if i give them $4000 they will just stick it in their pocket and say, "okay, now you owe us $69,000 more". she said that i should talk with a bankruptcy lawyer. i have an appointment with him this coming tuesday. i dont understand why, if the bank takes the house, why do i still have to pay for the house? isnt that like a repo? give them the money OR the house? makes no sense to me. i'll get some answers next week, i suppose.

as i was getting out of the courthouse, i got a call from my real estate guy. he said there was an offer on the house. yay! so i was hoping if the offer was good enough, the bank would take the offer as a short sale and hopefully write-off the balance and i would be free and clear of the house! i was sooo hoping that would work. my real estate guy and i have been hounding my bank guy because he has been super beyond lazy with my house stuff. this never should have went to foreclosure. yet another piece of my life that is in ruins because of some incompetent ass that cant or wont do his job.

thursday evening my doorbell rang. no one rings my doorbell. 1) they know the dogs go crazy 2) most people know i dont like unannounced house guests, so they call in advance and i watch for them so the dogs dont go crazy at the doorbell! so... my doorbell rang. it was mr curnow. he lives kinda across the road from me. he has been a wonderful friend and neighbor. he brought me flowers! he said that he and his wife knew i probably had a rough day at the courthouse and would i like to go to dairy queen for an ice cream? of course! we sat there about 2 hours and talked and talked! it was a nice ending to a miserable day.

well, i got a note from my real estate guy that said this... “The buyer failed to qualify and as an added bonus, we were informed that she stole the earnest deposit and is now in trouble with her probation officer.....Lovely. “

yeah, "lovely" is right! for serious kids, i couldnt make this shit up if i tried!

thursday night the wilsons came to get stella for an overnight stay. they wanted to see how she would get along with their other lab and 2 cats. apparently they got along wonderfully because they asked to keep her the weekend to see how she would do with the grandkids.

friday morning i took my dad to the airport. i got back in town and really had stuff to accomplish. but i was sick and in miserable pain and just crashed. i managed to make myself presentable enough to go to my sis's first show for her new job. she is now a lia sophia jewelry sales person. i dont know what her title is to be honest. anywhom. i made it to her first show. then i went home and crashed again.

saturday i was absolutely in agony, but had to go get dogfood. doesnt sound like a big deal, but since KaiYin is on a special diet, i have to drive an hour to get the food. and it was storming. fabulous. so i did that. came home and crashed again.

ma called me about 9p and said that she really wanted to make it to virginia to see my aunt while she is still here. she has been extremely ill with cancer and pneumonia and was sent home saturday with hospice. ma and i scrambled to figure it all out... and ended up leaving about 130a driving from michigan to virginia. we got there sunday just after noon. we hadnt seen aunt nancy in about 18 years but she remembered us! while her body is giving out, her smile and heart and spirit have been hanging on! along with her wonderful sense of humor! she is absolutely precious. ma and i spent sunday and monday there. only left one time to get them some groceries. words cant explain how happy my heart was to be able to see everyone after all these years. technically they are my "great" aunts and uncles and 2nd cousins... but we never differentiated. we are family. that is all that mattered. and i am happy to have been there for them, even if it was only 2 days.

tuesday morning ma and i left to come back to michigan. we got back tuesday evening. literally as we were walking in the door at ma's house, my (step)dad was on the phone finding out that grandpa was being taken by ambulance to bronson hospital but they didnt know why. found out later that they thought he had a heart attack. (-fyi: we all call my stepdad's grandparents our grandparents) so, grandpa gets to the hospital and they run tests. they say yes he did have a heart attack and they ran more tests to decide about stints. well, the scans came back that yes he needs stints, but they would not be able to give him the necessary stint surgery because they found he has pancreatic cancer. now... grandpa has been going to the va hospital over the last few months and they kept telling him it was nothing, he is fine. now that he is at a "real" hospital, we are told he has pancreatic cancer and it has been there for a while. this is ridiculous! i dont understand how people can do this to each other! how can they know something like that and not tell him?! we are all human! we should be looking out for each other. helping each other as much as we can. i just dont understand. so, grandpa is 88 and grandma is 91. she has been staying at the hospital with him, and my ma and g'ma's daughters have been taking her back and forth home when needed. we still dont know anything more right now.

tuesday night was full of some very emotional family stuff that i wont be sharing online. all i can say is i cried myself to sleep with a banged up heart.

wednesday i dragged myself out of bed to get some groceries. as i pulled in at the grocery store, i smelled something funny, but thought it might be the van in front of me. when i parked and got out of the jeep the smell was crazy strong and i thought it was antifreeze so i popped the hood. didnt need to. once i walked around to the front of the beast i could see radiator fluid just flooding out. ugh. really?! so i called my handy-dandy maintenance guy, joe.
me: hey there. are you buys?
joe: sound like i'm about to be!
he came over and looked at it. said the radiator blew up and there was no way i could even drive it back to my house. lucky for me, he just got a flatbed trailer, so he said he would come back over and pick up the jeep and take it to his shop. he took me back to my place to get my father's car (i have his car since i dropped him off at the airport) then i went back to get groceries. oh joy.

KaiYin and i were up all night, sick and throwing up. i cant say it was anything we both ate, since i didnt eat dogfood and she didnt eat people food... but who knows. thunderstorms didnt help. Loki freaks freaks out so that was an added obsticle trying to sleep around/through/with.

thursday... yesterday... more family emotional stuff.

mr wilson called and said that they want to keep stella! they said that i can come visit her anytime i want! sounds like she is doing really well... i'm super happy for her!

friday... today... errands and laundry. made some appointments for next week with lawyers and financial advisors. fingers crossed.
joe called and said he can replace the radiator all parts and labor = $200. i dont have that. so he's gonna let me park the baby beast at his place until i can come up with the money.
now i am going to post this, then go over to ma's and watch a movie with her. not sure what movie she got.
after that, i have to drive (1 hr 1 way) to fort wayne airport to pick up my father getting back from florida/virginia. then i'm gonna get back and crash with my dogters!

thanks to all of you for your kindness, love, support, care, concerns... everything!
i love you all oodles and bunches!
much love.
be well.
~angela

no time to proof-read... gotta run!

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